Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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