With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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