before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
