can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
