ADVERTISEMENT

• (337): View more from Louisiana

  i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb

  Fav 13 1273 1592

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink

  Fav 37 1353 2730

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm

  Fav 38 4751 2329

  share tweet
  

• (209): View more from California

  I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.

  Fav 25 8093 1363

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.

  Fav 23 9104 1594

  share tweet
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?

  Fav 11 2636 1148

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (254): View more from Texas

  Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be

  (254): View more from Texas

  Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54

  Fav 5 1972 789

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!

  Fav 4 911 516

  share tweet
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?

  Fav 2 225 479

  share tweet
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.

  Fav 1 272 165

  share tweet
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?

  Fav 0 33 16

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (214): View more from Texas

  I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.

  Fav 0 27 6

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him

  Fav 0 97 8

  share tweet
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.

  Fav 0 68 15

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  please don't ironically join a cult

  Fav 0 85 16

  share tweet
  

Randomize