It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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