My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
