he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
