i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
