you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
