I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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