loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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