youre lurking in front of me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
