just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
