She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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