I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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