i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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