And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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