Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
