I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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