I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
