Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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