hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
