very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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