If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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