omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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