Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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