I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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