this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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