Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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