in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
