I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize