Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
