we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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