Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
