I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
