Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
