If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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