Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

It looked like if robin williams had a vagina

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(214): View more from Texas

No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.

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(951): View more from California

My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now

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(360): View more from Washington

tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse

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(904): View more from Florida

I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

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(713): View more from Texas

Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.

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