It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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