people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
