We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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