i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
