dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
