When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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