I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
