Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
