Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
