my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
