Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
