Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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